Toward the end of Parashat Hayeh-Sara, we read what seems like a very peculiar incident, which took place when Rivkah saw Yitzhak for the first time. As soon as she saw him, the Torah tells, she fell off her camel. She then turned to Eliezer, Avraham's servant who brought her from her home to marry Yitzhak, and asked who this person was. Eliezer explained that this was Avraham's servant, whom she was going to marry. Rivkah then took a veil and covered her face.

What is this story all about? Why did Rikvah fall off her camel when she saw Yitzhak?

Rav Eliyahu Dessler suggests what I believe to be a beautiful – and crucially important – answer, conveying an idea which every married couple needs to understand.

Eliezer chose Rivkah as a bride for Yitzhak when he saw her extraordinary quality of hesed, how she rushed to draw water for him and for all his ten camels. When Rivkah heard that she was chosen to marry Yitzhak, she was overjoyed. Yitzhak was, of course, the son of Avraham, the bastion of hesed, the embodiment of kindness toward other people. And Rivkah, as she displayed at the well, was all about kindness, giving to others. This was, she thought, the perfect match – hesed joining with hesed.

When Rivkah first saw Yitzhak, he was praying in the field. Observing Yitzhak, Rivkah was able to see that Yitzhak's primary quality was not, in fact, hesed. His quality was gevurah – self-discipline, selfless devotion and sacrifice to G-d. His character was very different from what she expected. Rivkah therefore fell off the camel (גמל) – an allusion to her "falling" from the quality of גמילות חסדים – kindness toward others. She turned to Eliezer in bewilderment, wondering how this could be, whether she was truly meant to marry Yitzhak, who was so different from her. Eliezer confirmed that she indeed was.

Rivkah then did something heroic. She put on a veil. This symbolizes the "blurring" of her vision, of her hopes and expectations. She made the firm, resolute decision to make it work.

Every person before he or she gets married has a vision of what their marriage will look like. And never has there even been a marriage that fully met all the expectations. In order to be happy in marriage, a couple needs to adjust their expectations. If a husband or wife insists on everything they hoped their marriage would bring, they are going to be disappointed and frustrated.

In a pasuk in Shir Hashirim (1:5), the Jewish People declare to Hashem, שחורה אני ונאוה – "I am black yet beautiful." We believe – and we must believe – that we are beautiful before Hashem despite our "darkness," our mistakes, our flaws, our struggles, our failures. Hashem's love for us is unconditional. Even when we make mistakes, He still loves us.

For a marriage to work, both spouses need to feel this unconditional love. They need to feel that they are accepted and loved for who they are even when they mess up, even when they get it wrong, even when they disappoint, even whey aren't what the other spouse expected. They need to know that שחורה אני ונאוה, that they are "beautiful" despite their mistakes. And they need to know that their spouse is willing to put on a "veil," to look away at their faults, to adjust expectations so they can build a beautiful and happy relationship together. - Rabbi Joey Haber

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https://itorah.com/weekly-inspire/adjusting-expectations/15/32135