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Vayeitze - Making the Decision

 

Parashat Vayeseh begins with Yaakov's journey from Eretz Yisrael to Haran, where he would spend twenty years with his uncle, Lavan.  The Torah tells, ויפגע במקום – that Yaakov "encountered the place" – which the Gemara explains as a reference to the site where Avraham Avinu bound Yitzhak upon the altar, and which would become the site of the Bet Ha'mikdash.  Yaakov prayed at this site, and he then went to sleep and beheld his famous dream of a ladder extending to the heavens.

 

Rashi, based on the Gemara, fills in some more details about Yaakov's journey. 

 

Yaakov had traveled all the way to Haran, but then realized that he had passed the holy site without stopping to pray there.  He said to himself, "How could I have passed there without praying?!" 

 

He immediately turned around and started making his way back toward Yerushalayim.  Hashem made a miracle, so as not to inconvenience Yaakov, and the mountain in Yerushalayim where the Bet Ha'mikdash would be built was uprooted from its place and brought to Yaakov, so he could pray there without having to travel all the way back.

 

One of my Rabbis once posed a very good question about this story. 

 

If Hashem wanted to help Yaakov Avinu pray at the site of the Bet Ha'mikdash – which He obviously did, so much so that He brought the mountain to Yaakov!!! – then why didn't He find a way to remind Yaakov to pray there when Yaakov passed through that area?  Why was it only when Yaakov reached Haran that Hashem helped him by bringing the sacred site to him?

 

The Rabbi answered, very simply, that Hashem doesn't decide for us.  We need to make the decision of what to do, how to act, and how to build our lives.  Once we make the decision, then Hashem comes in and helps us do what we set out to do.  But the decision needs to be ours.

 

As children, we have few decisions to make.  They are pretty much all made for us.  But as we grow older, we gradually need to start making our own decisions. 

 

There are some really, really big decisions – like whom to marry, which profession to pursue, where to live, which school to send our children to.  There are also smaller decisions that we need to make almost every day, like how to handle different situations that arise, how to react to people, and so on.  Making decisions can often be scary.  Or annoying.  Often, we prefer that other people make these decisions for us.

 

We need to remember that making decisions is the way we build our lives into what they're meant to be.  We are not supposed to be anybody else but ourselves.  And so while it is of course helpful and important to seek advice, to consult with people whom we respect and admire – ultimately, we need to make the decision that is right for us, that will allow us to create the unique life that Hashem brought us here to create.  We can't let anyone else decide for us – because decisions are the way we self-actualize and chart the path that we need to take, the path that's right for us, even if others are following a different path.

 

And once we make whatever decision it is that we needed to make, we should trust that Hashem will bring the sacred site to us, so-to-speak, that He will help us going forward.  Once we decide what we want to do, which path we want to follow – we need to rely on His help and support.

 

In the end, our lives are shaped not by the circumstances we encounter, but by the choices we courageously make. When we take ownership of those choices, Hashem meets us on the path and guides our steps forward. May we always have the clarity to decide, and the faith to trust that He will help us follow through. - Rabbi Joey Haber

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https://itorah.com/weekly-inspire/making-the-decision/15/30668